Remove unworthy people from your life

Whenever I have made up my mind to leave behind a bad memory or a person, I have always been rewarded with a much more beautiful memory and a trustworthy person. Out of all the incidents I recall, I remember one very vividly. Once I was very reluctant to let go one of my very close friends. We were together for quite some years when suddenly at one point of time her actions and decisions started to disappoint me. Maybe she was always that way, but I never noticed before. During this period, I realized that we both, now, share nothing common and she makes me feel more depressed than happy. I have to move on and let her find her own way with her own choices. But, I was unable to take action on this realization for a year or so. Every time I decided that I should let her go, I felt a strange pain in my heart. I felt I was betraying her. After all, I thought, friendship means forever. How can I be so cruel and harsh that I am leaving a person just because I don’t feel happy with her anymore. And I never found the courage to back off. Whenever we used to meet, I always felt that we are not connected anymore. We do not want the same thing and have no same issues to talk about. I was ready to hear her out, but I was uncertain that she would be willing to help me with my problems. I remember how her attitude changed whenever I mentioned something I was dealing with, but I always used to give her my support on her decisions. 

One particular incident I remember is when I was really having a tough time at my home because of some family problems. I could not contact her for some months. I was usually the one who used to drop the messages whenever I got time. Receiving no messages from me, she thought that I was no longer interested in talking to her and she did not contact me too. I was heart broken. But this was a test of true friendship. I wished that she would call me sooner or later. One late night, her messaged binged.  I was happy to finally receive a message. I told her that I was waiting for her message from a long time and I wished to talk to her but was unable to contact her because I was really busy with some family issues. She said I should have contacted her. I lashed out at her saying that if I was important to her then why did not she contact me sooner. She said that I don’t understand her problems. She replied that if I had cared about her and understood her, I would have not reacted like I did. She said that she was going through a really tough time. I asked whether my problems mean something to her. She said she cares but she hoped that I had cared too. This statement struck me as an arrow shot straight through my heart. I always listened to her, helped her out in any way I could and now when I needed her all I got was that I was not a good friend. 

That day I decided that it is better that we both go our different ways. I certainly do not need a person who refuses to acknowledge my efforts and questions my integrity in a relationship. We met a few times after that, she was normal discussing her all time favorite problems. But I had changed. I started keeping my distance. I made a point to never discuss my life with her. If a person is not interested in listening to me, then I am no idiot who will constantly babble about it. 

Soon thereafter, our meetings got less regular. I made my distance and coincidentally I rekindled my friendship with a very old friend of mine. We were good friends always, but then I realized that she was the one who was worthy to be called my best friend. I am still in contact with that friend, but we rarely talk now. I am glad that I have no regrets that I ended a close friendship just because of my happiness. Friendship is forever, but, it means nothing when it comes at a cost someone’s happiness. Some time holding on to something causes more harm than letting go. And through that episode, I found a friend for life. When I had the courage to push the wrong things away, life gave the opportunity to seize the good things.

Never hesitate to let those people off the hook who do not appreciate you or value you. Life is ready to give you better options, you just have to have faith and let go. If you’re brave enough to say goodbye, life will regard you with a new hello.

A lesson of Gratitude

On this Teacher’s Day, I learnt a very important lesson. Some children taught me the single lesson which is imperative to stay happy in life. The lesson of gratitude. Today, while traveling from the university to back home in a bus, I learned and realized something very important. On one of the traffic lights, a school bus of deaf and dumb children stopped by just next to our bus. I looked across my window seat and saw many smiling faces. Most of the children were communicating with each other through sign language. There was an indescribable happiness on their face. Though I was not able to gather any meaning from the signs, but the kids looked really happy. Their expressions and smile instantly made me smile widely. They seemed so happy that when I turned my head I found most of the people in my bus smiling while looking at them. It suddenly struck me that these people can’t listen or talk, though some of them were wearing the hearing devices, still, they are able to communicate so well with each other. They are smiling and are content. On the other hand, we people are never content.

I seldom contemplate that most of us are thankless people who are never satisfied with what we have got. We always want more. Although I agree that one should thrive for betterment but on the other hand, I also believe that we should not forget to pay our thanks to the things we have got, whether it is our health or our current state of living or our family or anything. We should always be grateful for what we have got. We usually read some people struggle to gain the things which we take for granted. But, we never change our perception towards the gratitude. We take for granted our relations, our well-being, the worldly pleasures which we enjoy and everything else present in our life. Never for a moment have we thought that we are really fortunate that God has blessed us with so much. We may not have everything we wish for, but we do have something for which we can express our thanks. Everyone has his or her own share of problems, but happy are those who are delighted with what they have to cherish. Every individual is fighting his own war, yet they have some moments of peace they can appreciate.

We can communicate easily by using words, yet we sometimes fail to understand the emotions behind the words. We fall prey to misunderstandings though we can communicate without much hassle. Imagine how much trouble a dumb person has to go through to explain something to an amateur like me. Words may not always tell us the sentiments of the others, but the expressions and eyes do not lie. The eyes and smile can express the deepest of our emotions and feelings which words cannot convey. We should be appreciative of the power of the words which has been given to us and which when collaborated with the expressions and true feelings can create magic.

I don’t think God expects much from us, neither do we owe him anything. But, the least we can do is express our gratitude for all the blessings he has showered us with. Our life, our family, our friends, our home, our meals, the facilities available to us, the opportunities on hand, the senses which are given to us, the mind, the wealth, the health and every other little thing that is accessible to us in our life. We should be thankful and grateful for all these things and much more. This feeling of gratefulness may add some moments of joy in our life. This teacher’s day, some children became my best teacher.

“Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.”

― Epicurus

The Friendship Day

When my younger sister insisted me to accompany her to the market yesterday for buying the friendship bands, I readily agreed. It instantly reminded me of my school days where my elder sister used to accompany me for buying these bands. It was like Déjà Vu. At that time, I was constantly told by my father that these practices are just stupid. Friendship cannot be proved by giving or receiving bands each year. But, I always told him that it matters to me and so I will buy them. It was always exciting to see who gets the most friendship bands, i.e. who is most popular in the class. It gave self-confidence a boost. Looking back now, I feel this ritual of sharing friendship bands on the Friendship Day is more like a trend. I know understand, after losing some friends whom I thought were true to me, true friendship does not rely on the celebration of this day. The strings of these friendship bands cannot tie two hearts together. I still have many of those friendship bands that I exchanged in my school life. Frankly, I don’t even remember the exact persons who gave me those bands. I can’t associate most of those bands with anything special. And this is not because of my poor memory. I have a very vivid memory for such things. But, my mind automatically removes some of the not so special memories of the persons who are no longer in touch with me from past 6 to 7 years. Maybe the mind also knows that who actually matters and who doesn’t.  Only a selected few friends remain who stand by us throughout our journey. What matters in friendship is that two people care for each other, pour their heart out with no pretension, accept each other with the flaws, understand each other, love each other and stand by each other no matter how hard the circumstances maybe. Those people who are no longer in my contact do not love me. But, my best friends do. They understand me and stand by me. I share with them a special connection and I don’t need any friendship band to make them feel that I love them. They know I do. Celebrating this day gives an amazing feeling, but these bands, in reality, serve no purpose. It is the action which portrays the true feelings, gifts are only an icing on the cake. Gifts are only meant to remind us of someone. Someone who promises to be your side when you feel alone, someone who always believes in you, someone who always looks out for you and someone who truly cares for you. Such friends are rare to find. Not everyone deserves to be your friend. Look into the hearts of the people, when you find true care and love for you, don’t let them go. Find such gems with which you can celebrate your every day as the Friendship Day.

There is nothing on this earth more to be prized than true friendship. ~ Thomas Aquinas

Some people are not meant to stay forever !!!

In every phase of your life, you meet a person who you wish will stay with you for the lifetime. But at every another phase, life reminds you that nothing is permanent. Your friends change with time. At one moment you are with one person, feeling totally dedicated to her/ him and the next moment that person slowly disappears from your life. Call it the circumstances if you want to which changes your priorities. But the truth is, that most of the people you wish to stay together with are meant to remain for only a part of your life. People say that you learn from everyone you meet. Apart from learning from everyone you meet, you adapt a particular quality of them. You may not stay together forever, but at one point of time, you will surely remember the times you have spent together. There are some incidents which remain instilled in your memory forever. You may not with the same persons but somehow those persons have shaped you into a changed human being. Everyone affects you in some manner. You change for the better. Every person in your life comes to serve a purpose. Though we may sometimes feel cheated or alone with the absence of someone, but sooner or later we realize that maybe whatever happened is for the greater good. We may never see what good the separation beholds but the destiny has planned it all out. The person who came to serve a purpose will stay only till he is destined to. Forceful relationships won’t work. Most of the times we get blindsided by our affections and feelings and we don’t realize that some things are not meant to be. They may hurt for a while, or for more than a while, but it will all turn out for something much better. Every failed relationship teaches you something. It does not matter whether it a parent-child relationship or a friendship or a lovers relationship. Each relationship holds a different space in our lives and we learn various things from each. The small fight, big fights, all of these makes us a better person. This is what is known as maturity. It may be the pain of separation or the happiness of the cherished moments which makes us a different person. We accept the fact that some people are not meant to stay forever, no matter how much we want them to stay. There will always be a better person waiting just around the next turn of your life to help you experience something new and teach you something better. That person may again stay with you or may not, but his/ her memories will and so will the change in your personality that his/ her aura brings. We don’t leave people and people don’t leave us. Some things are just meant to happen like that. Some relationships and stories are destined to stay shorter and end sooner or later.