Whenever I have made up my mind to leave behind a bad memory or a person, I have always been rewarded with a much more beautiful memory and a trustworthy person. Out of all the incidents I recall, I remember one very vividly. Once I was very reluctant to let go one of my very close friends. We were together for quite some years when suddenly at one point of time her actions and decisions started to disappoint me. Maybe she was always that way, but I never noticed before. During this period, I realized that we both, now, share nothing common and she makes me feel more depressed than happy. I have to move on and let her find her own way with her own choices. But, I was unable to take action on this realization for a year or so. Every time I decided that I should let her go, I felt a strange pain in my heart. I felt I was betraying her. After all, I thought, friendship means forever. How can I be so cruel and harsh that I am leaving a person just because I don’t feel happy with her anymore. And I never found the courage to back off. Whenever we used to meet, I always felt that we are not connected anymore. We do not want the same thing and have no same issues to talk about. I was ready to hear her out, but I was uncertain that she would be willing to help me with my problems. I remember how her attitude changed whenever I mentioned something I was dealing with, but I always used to give her my support on her decisions.
One particular incident I remember is when I was really having a tough time at my home because of some family problems. I could not contact her for some months. I was usually the one who used to drop the messages whenever I got time. Receiving no messages from me, she thought that I was no longer interested in talking to her and she did not contact me too. I was heart broken. But this was a test of true friendship. I wished that she would call me sooner or later. One late night, her messaged binged. I was happy to finally receive a message. I told her that I was waiting for her message from a long time and I wished to talk to her but was unable to contact her because I was really busy with some family issues. She said I should have contacted her. I lashed out at her saying that if I was important to her then why did not she contact me sooner. She said that I don’t understand her problems. She replied that if I had cared about her and understood her, I would have not reacted like I did. She said that she was going through a really tough time. I asked whether my problems mean something to her. She said she cares but she hoped that I had cared too. This statement struck me as an arrow shot straight through my heart. I always listened to her, helped her out in any way I could and now when I needed her all I got was that I was not a good friend.
That day I decided that it is better that we both go our different ways. I certainly do not need a person who refuses to acknowledge my efforts and questions my integrity in a relationship. We met a few times after that, she was normal discussing her all time favorite problems. But I had changed. I started keeping my distance. I made a point to never discuss my life with her. If a person is not interested in listening to me, then I am no idiot who will constantly babble about it.
Soon thereafter, our meetings got less regular. I made my distance and coincidentally I rekindled my friendship with a very old friend of mine. We were good friends always, but then I realized that she was the one who was worthy to be called my best friend. I am still in contact with that friend, but we rarely talk now. I am glad that I have no regrets that I ended a close friendship just because of my happiness. Friendship is forever, but, it means nothing when it comes at a cost someone’s happiness. Some time holding on to something causes more harm than letting go. And through that episode, I found a friend for life. When I had the courage to push the wrong things away, life gave the opportunity to seize the good things.
Never hesitate to let those people off the hook who do not appreciate you or value you. Life is ready to give you better options, you just have to have faith and let go. If you’re brave enough to say goodbye, life will regard you with a new hello.